Weeks are simply passing by too fast! I don't ever have the time to record all my thoughts, to record all my feelings and to record all that I'm learning!!! ahh! I can't think of any other better way to be recording all my thought processes: if any of you can think of something, let me know asap!
That truly frustrates me at time yano? But Hopefully, each experience will simply be building onto my character in action, and that by the end of my mission, it will be built into my countenance..hopefully!
I have had a lot of mix thoughts, and feelings, and thought processes this week. It's been a fabulous week nonetheless! Yan passed her baptismal interview and she is simply flourishing. I think with us simply categorizing her as a member already, I have started to forget how much more baptism and receiving the gift of the Holy Ghost will add on to her life. Thinking about it today rekindled some forgotten excitment and joy for her and for her exciting day this Saturday! It's finally here, she is finally getting into the waters of baptism no matter what Satan says, no matter what her parents says, and no matter what anybody else says.
I have been challenged a lot this week with different questions of how I have come to know for myself that this Gospel is true, and that this Church is true. In the moment, I responded according to what the Spirit prompted me to say and according to what I know to be true. These people I talk to everyday have very logical and reasoning minds--- I am no match for them! Because of these encounters, I have been left pondering and feeling disappointed for the lack of a better answer that I could've given them. Why couldn't I say something that will cause them to believe or to understand? Why wasn't I able to help them believe? How do I know it all to be true?
At the end of all these turmoils of thoughts, I came to one conclusion. And that it is through the Holy Ghost that I have felt over and over again throughout my life that I know that this is truth. This is one that I cannot deny. I have not seen God, or Christ, but I have felt the presence of my father in heaven and of my Savior through the witness of the Holy Ghost in my life. The fruits of the spirit of love, peace, guidance, joy, compassion, patience, virtue...etc. and the fact that the spirit has many times caused me to "feel these sweeling motions,...and has many times enlarged my soul,..and has many times enlightened my understanding." (Alma 32:28)
I may not be very smart or knowledgeable in science, or physics, or math, or chemistry, but I do know that the Gospel of Jesus Christ is the only smart way to live your life, as you go forth acquiring all these other secular knowledge. Meeting all these hardworking students here from China though have taught me the lesson of being more hardworking, and that our constant will and devotion to learning and acquiring knowledge will cause us to become greater advocates of our Savior Jesus Christ. I am guilty of not letting Christ's Atonement play a part in lifting me up in the past as I've limited my capacity of acquiring more knowledge. I have constantly expressed that it is too late for me to push farther, because I judged myself according to the poor choices of high school education that I made back in China. I never even realized how much those choices have been limiting my courage and will to learn greater things and to push myself to doing greater things at BYU. I am glad that I have this time on my mission to learn the importance of education and to truly understand the Atonement of Jesus Christ in my life. It truly is the power to change, and it provides the hope and power to do hard things!
This week has definitley been a revelatory week of learning new ways to help my investigators. Many truly have hardened their hearts as the book of Mormon prophecies of our time. But we are here in a hand in hand journey with our Savior Jesus Christ, and if I put my trust in Him, I will be able to do all things.
The same to all of you back home! Life ain't easy, just like the mission, but it is so worth it!
Love you all tons, and until next week,